Boo is watching Scarlett take down the garbage and recycling bins to the curb with much discernment as I began typing this. I love those two, and while I was lying in bed waiting for Anaya to return with yet another load of laundry to fold last night, I had a wave of contentment wash over me. When he stood at the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss me, I looked up at him and told him that I loved him, I love our home, and I love our life.
I do.
More on that later.
The days leading up to Colonizer Day are weird and complicated and we communicate as such to one another and to our kids. No, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Yes, we have conversations about how and why America is what it is today. We discuss the Wampanoag Tribe and the REAL Thanksgiving in ways that depict reality for kids that are seven and three. We look forward to hosting a feast for friends on Thursday, and while this feels exciting and celebratory, it is also a refuge for when Everything Sucks. It is a soft place to land, to eat and love on our friends, our kids, our friend’s kids, and to momentarily shield ourselves from the things that suck. It isn’t the answer, but it is a salve for the parts of us that we must tend to in order to keep going.
I hope you’re getting a dose of that this week, too.
This time of year is so complicated for so many folx, for any number of reasons. The death of a relative or person we love, memories we wish we could forget from holidays past, the performance piece, the consumerism, the stress, the weight-loss or weight-gain we wish people would stop asking about. The too many things to accomplish…
The list goes on and on.
I don’t have a lot of great memories from holidays growing up. But I do have a few and they are simple and soft, and as a parent and now a partner that also feels the weight of what is missing during the holidays, I relish in the opportunity to heal those parts of us while making memories for our kids I wish we both had. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things I do to promote magic and good memories. Take what what feels do-able, consider things that may feel challenging, and if you’re like I wish I could do that, perhaps take the consideration one step further.
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