I have a collection of new and partially read books, both tangible and digital, that are ever present for Emotional Support. Some are for pleasure, some for working on my (writing) craft, and there is one novel that is currently “hot” (Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter) that isn’t generally my go-to, but I like to do my part in keeping up with the times, occasionally. All this to be said, I did pull down Comfort Me with Apples by Ruth Reichl, a book that I have read three or four times but barely remember until I get into it again, except for the fact that I loved it. A lot of folx with anxiety have comfort shows that they re-watch over and over, I have comfort books, and this is one of them. Will I read it in its entirety this time? Who knows. Will I put it down to read one of the other, ahem, seven books I have started? Time will tell.
One of my favorite ways to settle into a morning of writing is doing a bit of reading and/or a five minute brain dump of literally whatever. This was a tool taught to me by Molly Wizenberg, I believe she was taught it as/calls it Morning Pages, at a workshop I attended in Santa Fe back in 2019. For five minutes you write down anything, and I mean anything, that comes to mind. No rhyme or reason, no punctuation or storyline required. A lot of times mine is a five minute run on sentence, nothing that I edit or critique. I imagine it’s like stretching before a workout. Here is a portion of mine from this morning-
Don’t forget to make the frosting and also switch the laundry beore you check the potatoes it was really nice to see Hannah at the dog park this morning and commiserate over potty training toddlers I promise myself and Maddox that i will not get hung up on societal norms around when he should officially be potty trained he won’t be in high school in diapers and if he is I will love him anyways I’m nervous about going back to Minnesota and also excited to show Anaya parts of my childhood that feel so distant but so close at the same time I imaginr it will still be really beautiful in the beginning of November but will it? I wonder if it will already be brown and beginning to sharpen into winter, it wouldn’t be the first time I think I want to show him the swimming hole of course we won’t swim but It’ll be nice to drive out into the country but will it still even be the country anymore? Or will it be developed once or even twice over goddamn time is weird it’s almost been twenty years don’t forget to make the spiced sugar
As you can see there are no edits or critique, just a stream of consciousness. Sometimes I end up with something, and idea that can be molded into an essay or inspiration for my manuscript. Other times it will serve as a makeshift to-do list as found above. There are no rules, just gearing up for what’s ahead. Try it sometime and let me know what, if anything, it does for you.
While it isn’t technically fall, the weather here in Denver has mostly begged to differ this week. A respite from the 90+ degree days that seemed to drone on and on, keeping us indoors after noon in an effort to not melt or avoid one of us experiencing some sort of cataclysmic sensory meltdown that the heat has notoriously ensued. As I have always said and felt, this time of year brings a deep sense of reflection, a desire to go inwards, and to conjure up what is next for my creativity. This season is no different, although this season does feel slightly different in that I have what feels more like a plan aside from “I guess I’ll write more.” While this seems straightforward, I am anything but. There’s the manuscript that I need to finish but there are also essays that need to be pitched and written, landing on whether or not they need to be directly from my memoir which is tricky because of the writing; they’re more lyrical so which literary magazine? But also will I get enough eyes on my work from a literary magazine? Should I keep writing for publications that have more eyes, that I will get paid (a very small amount), so that I can write and get paid for my work in a style that feels more me? Maybe I should shelve all of this and just write more essays for the book…
Do you see my dilemma? Is it me? Am I The problem? It’s just a lot in a- fantastic but overwhelming but really wonderful but intimidating space. Regardless, I know the deadline I’ve given myself, I still feel good about it, I just have to get better at being here even with not having all of the answers. What feels best for now is doing a little bit of all of it. Researching things I never have or even thought to, teaching myself different formatting, reading about writing which is actually not my favorite despite knowing how beneficial it is, and so on. While I’m not classically or formally trained and educated as a writer, I have a bit of a system that works for me that I do believe has helped me have successful read: monetary value, essays I feel really proud of, writing that has legs, bouts of writing-
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